We hosted a debate party with a unique twist. On the menu was Civil Discourse. Why? We hosted it because we've had our share of being "canceled" by friends and shouted down in public spaces for daring to share our opinions and politics. But instead of retreating, we’re determined to make it fashionable to gather with people across the ideological spectrum and engage in productive, respectful conversations.
It’s often said that discussing politics is impolite. We believe that’s silly. Politics and policies affect every aspect of our lives—these are exactly the things we should be talking about. What’s truly impolite is attacking someone's personal character because of their political views. This kind of behavior erodes the possibility of meaningful dialogue and undermines the value of diverse perspectives.
In the spirit of promoting civil discourse, we’ve come up with a few simple tips for engaging in political conversations with family and friends—without letting things turn ugly.
6 Ground Rules for Civil Discourse:
Attack policy, not people. Keep the conversation focused on the issues, not personal attacks. Disagree with ideas, not with the value of individuals.
Don’t interrupt. This one’s tough, especially when emotions run high. But allowing someone to finish their thought shows respect and makes for a smoother conversation.
Actively seek common ground. There’s almost always some point of agreement, even if it's small. Find it, and build from there. This can help prevent conversations from becoming adversarial.
Don’t switch topics mid-discussion. Stay focused on the issue at hand. Jumping to another topic when you hit a roadblock doesn’t help either side and muddles the conversation.
Admit when you don’t know something. It’s perfectly fine to say, “I’m not sure.” Pretending to be an expert on something you're unfamiliar with only weakens your credibility.
Breathe, laugh, and stay relaxed. Conversations about politics don’t have to be tense. A lighthearted attitude can keep things from getting too heated.
Ultimately, civil discourse isn’t about "winning" an argument—it’s about creating space for more conversations in the future. So breathe, laugh, and make a commitment to keep the dialogue going.
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The Bass Sisters: Dee Dee Bass Wilbon and Deana Bass Williams are sisters and co-founders of Bass Public Affairs a Washington, DC based public affairs firm. They co-host the podcast Policy and Pound Cake.
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