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People often ask me about “King Family” holiday traditions. Like many do, we share the Christmas Message from Luke, chapter two. Then there’s the exchange of gifts, delightful recipes, electric trains, Christmas carols, gingerbread houses and such. I also love the time of “open mic” where we share with each other and we listen to each other.
During the holidays, much of the conversation rightfully centers around the miracle of the Christ child. Indeed, it is the greatest news the world has ever known. Yet, this season, my thoughts keep returning to another profound gift shared in Luke 10:38-42: Mary’s gift to Jesus. She sat at His feet and listened, offering Him her undivided attention.
You know the story. “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” Martha was fit to be tied. How could Mary sit and listen to Jesus while she did all the work. Jesus saw it through the wisest eyes and knew that Mary had chosen the intangible offering that never goes away. The power of being heard by someone who is truly listening.
As a grandmother, I’m not about to suggest skipping material gifts this Christmas. But I do encourage you to add something priceless under the tree: the gift of undistracted time, fully listening to your family and friends.
We all know what it feels like to talk to someone who isn’t truly listening—the sting of being ignored, the emptiness of feeling unheard. Use those experiences to create a better one for the people in your life. Design a listening environment that fosters connection: put away your phone, silence distractions, and give others your complete focus. Look them in the eye. Nod. Be present.
Listening matters deeply because people hunger to be heard. A recent survey by Cigna and Ipsos revealed a staggering statistic: more than half of American adults said they always or sometimes feel that “no one knows them well.” Even in our bustling cities—Houston, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and more—loneliness is pervasive. The report warns that loneliness impacts health as severely as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, surpassing even obesity in its dangers.
So, how do we combat this epidemic? By becoming joyful, active listeners. When someone speaks, resist the urge to craft your response in your mind. Instead, focus entirely on their words. Ask questions. Show you care.
Americans have long been known as a compassionate people. We are one blood, one human race. And the God who raised Christ from the dead is ready to empower us to love others well. This Christmas, let’s extend that love through the simple but profound act of listening.
Put away the distractions. Turn off the noise. And give the gift that can transform a life—the gift of being truly heard.
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Dr. Alveda C. King, the daughter of civil rights activist Rev. A. D. King and niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., is a Christian evangelist and bestselling author of King Rules and We’re Not Colorblind. She is the founder of Alveda King Ministries, convener of S.A.G.E. Con 2025, and chairman of the AFPI Center for The American Dream.
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